I am a monster.  I am an upir; a bloodthirsty vampire-type of a creature.  I will never kill again, but I have to live with what I did in the past.  I am not a felon or in prison only because my case(s) did not go to trial in Russia and I received a pardon in the United States for my role in ending a major crime ring.

I haven’t received the death penalty thanks to the Endangered Species Act of 1973.  There’s debate over whether Laisa and I are homo sapiens or not.  Being the only two of our kind, prevents us from being exterminated as a result of my attacks on regular humans.  If Laisa and I were not guinea pigs for sophisticated surveillance programs, we could not roam outside of a zoo cage. The pharmaceutical industry’s studies of our anomalous bodily composition, saved me from suicide, because they give my life some sort of purpose.  I also hang on for my little girl, because it’s lonely being a lab rat.  If most of our bodily fluids weren’t either associated with patents for which I receive licensing royalties, we would probably be paupers.

I haven’t had sex with a woman since my birthday on New Year’s Day 2006, because this horrible condition.  That ended in a bloody mess.  Ten years earlier, the heterosexual portion of my life came to an abrupt stop when Zoya was killed on stage by a “fan”.  Sasha has been very understanding about my cravings and depression over the resulting guilt.  He’s a more understanding spouse than I deserve, in my opinion.

I still crave virgin blood, but my conscience tempers my hunger.   I am so afraid I will kill again.  I am so afraid.