Family and Band
Posts tagged gay
Pride Memories
Jun 27th
Today is Pride Day in Minneapolis, so I suppose this would be a good time to share a “queerstory.”
When I was 10-years-old, Sasha and I had been in a cute puppy love relationship for about eight months. We mostly goofed around and did normal kid things. What made this a “romance” was my insistence that I would marry Sasha and the occasional kiss on the hand. I didn’t really understand the concept of marriage, but I knew that I wanted to be with my best friend more than anyone else. I knew Sasha was completely smitten with me because he’d let me pull his hair and taunt him with silly insults. I did not realize that Sasha was a boy until the day when I played keep-away with a paper airplane after school.
At first, I was very confused as to why Sasha would dress up like a girl if he was a boy. I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe my feeling, but I realized that Sasha’s gender matter to me when it came to love.
I’m looking forward to Pride. Sasha will probably bitch about the parade being an embarrassment to “normal” queers. He will bitch about how the only appropriate place to wear obscene clothing is Burning Man. The ball and chain will complain incessantly about all the show tunes, disco and techno that will undoubtedly invade our ears during the celebrations. Fortunately, Laisa and a few of her gothy friends are planning a special party to counteract the perky music. I wonder how Sasha will react when he realize that we will be the main act?
While I still remember, I better make sure everything is still good to go for Burning Man.
Terrence and Sasha-Pa Suck!
Jun 20th
I like my sorta-boyfriend Terrence, and I love my father Alexandr. They both drive me mad.
Terrence, Lenka and Bobby came over to jam a bit with me and the dads. For the most part, it was fun. Unfortunately, Sasha-Pa and Terrence finally had the opportunity to meet.
Sasha-Pa is stupidly bigoted when it comes to my dating anyone who is Jewish, not Christian or African-American. Terrence is a homophobe and thinks that the word “gay” is a synonym for “lame”. Both of them are passive aggressive and neither one has the guts to admit their idiotic prejudices. They pretend to be nice, but it’s so obvious that they are grossed-out by each other. They’re such ignoramuses.
Please don’t revoke my queer card.
Apr 4th
I wish I could get more excited about gay marriage being legalized in Iowa and Sweden. Good for them, but what the hell difference does that make? More equality? Maybe? I doubt it. Blacks have been getting married to whites legally for years, and they still get treated like second class citizens. What makes anyone think we are any different?
I do not think that a ban against gay marriage is reasonable (let alone enforceable) in the United States. Yet, I also don’t understand why as a gay man I should be obliged to ask the government, “May I please be married, Motherland?” Am I being cynical? Try living in a country where rule by homophobic mobsters has been the most effective form of government it has ever experienced and not be cynical. I dare you.
I have been married to Dmitri for the better part of my life. We got married when at time and place where it was illegal for two adolescent boys to do the nasty, let alone kiss in public. The concept of us getting married was neither legal nor illegal. It was downright unthinkable by most of society. But, we got married anyway. I did not give a shit what the government or most of society thought of us or our marriage. I still don’t. I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me that some bureaucrat though it was okay for Dmitri to be my #1 fuckbuddy and spiritual companion. If another piece of paper tells me that we aren’t married, it doesn’t matter to me either. Laws are only words on dead wood, and I get to choose whether I follow them or not. Actually, I’m breaking them right now since gay marriage is still not legal in Minnesota. Big fucking deal! My actions and will are more powerful than legislation, and I will die for these principles if I must regardless of the political fashion of the day.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not miss the days back in Irkustk when the mere fact that I was openly gay meant that I could be locked up at anytime. But, I also am lucid enough to realize that it takes more than just government-sponsorship to experience freedom and real change. Stonewall was a violent uprising. MLK’s words were nothing but pretty platitudes without Malcolm X’s threats. Jesus got nailed to a tree before anyone really paid attention to his hippy diatribes. Civil disobedience is a nice way of saying “willful lawbreaking for political gain.” The fight for freedom is never easy or truly won. The moment vigilance falls, an the wrong people get in charge, those who recognize the “legitimacy” of idiotic laws start to follow.
I remember far too well when the new Russian goverment granted equality for gays in May 1993 by abolishing Stalin’s Article 121. But, by 2001 the short-lived and rather tenuous “equality” started reverting back to the bad old days. (Yeltsin, why did you abandon us to the business oligarchs?)
Anyway, that’s my stupid anarchist Jesus-freak opinion. Happy weddings to all of you and congratulations on the win. Just be sure to avoid complacency, or you will lose everything.
