Family and Band
Posts tagged gore
Lolita the Musical
Jun 18th
In the early days of Upir’s Mark, we developed many tasteless collaborative shows involving other local underground bands. We often competed to see which band could create the least morally acceptable show in all of Siberia. We won a few times.
One of the more tasteless presentations was our unauthorized Russian-language remake of “Lolita, My Love” with some other devil-obsessed punk group of the day. Sasha powdered his hair and played Humbert. Ace played Delores (Lolita.) The judges complained that Ace was too old for the part of Lolita at age 14, but she could sing angrily and play the guitar like a beast, so they were a bit lenient with their reviews. The best part was the fact that the most salacious scenes were acted out by well-endowed ventriloquist dummies; stunt puppets, if you will. There was no way in hell Sasha was going to have simulated sex with a teenage girl in front of a live audience. Sasha would have had real sex in front of a live audience with just about anything else, including puppets, but he had some morals. Not very many, but he did. I wish he had less now, but being a prude is what happens when we get old.
We did not win the grand prize during that competition. We only made it to second place. The most indecent play award was given to another band team, Shit Rain of Darkness and Stalinist Holocaust. They did a killer rendition of Dante’s Inferno. On-stage defecation, gang-banging and horse slaughter always gets a better reception than revival musicals about old perverts with a bad case of hebephilia. Nonetheless, Sasha received a prize for goriest death scene and most original puppet show.
Here’s the show poster I made. It’s not one of my best, but it got the point across. Now the gods punish Sasha and I by giving us a daughter that dresses like a Lolita-wannabe. Depressing, but it serves us right.

