Family and Band
Posts tagged marriage
Happy Birthday To Me?
Feb 15th
My sweet and silly sister Ducky, called me for my birthday. Once again she’s pregnant and she’s still married to Adonis Seal Clubber. It’s so not fair that she married him. I crushed on him like crazy. Oh well, they are such a cute couple. She also mailed me some homemade blankets. I hope I get them soon. She makes the warmest blankets in the entire universe.
How old am I now? I still have no idea what my actual age is. My driver’s license says that I was born on February 15, 1975, but that date out was pulled out of some bureaucratic ass. All I know is that I am an Aquarius, for sure. I wonder if carbon dating works on people.
My first love.
Aug 17th
Ugly was an abuser and a horrible influence on me. Our first intimate encounter was not consensual and it was extremely traumatic. It was a shitty way for a scrawny fourteen-year-old to lose his virginity. He was around my age, but much larger and much more belligerent. He was extremely disturbed at the time.
I tried to report the abuse, but the person I spoke with called me a liar and threatened to make my life a living hell. I felt discouraged and didn’t pursue the matter further. Later in life, Ugly told me that he was abused himself. He confessed to admiring me for having the guts to have tried reporting him, and wished that he had received the punishment he deserved.
We looked after each one another. We were practically inseparable for a time. I really enjoyed recording our drunken songs and long-winded conversations about nonsense. It was quite fun to incorporate these recordings into our real music before we even knew that sampling had a name.
Ugly worked as the best damn manager Upir’s Mark ever had. He grew up to be a pretty cool guy, even though he was an evil dick in youth. He changed dramatically after losing limbs and suffering from disfiguring burns that covered most of his body during a military action in the Ukraine. It was an accident involving “friendly fire” from a grenade. Being so close to death, often forces people to re-examine their lives. He definitely did. He continues to make a huge effort to spend the rest of his life helping people.
The only other boyfriend I’ve ever had, happens to be my husband. Sasha is in gender limbo these days, however and has always identified more as a woman. Ugly and I still keep in touch by phone, even though he hates Sasha with a passion. After our break-up, Ugly has remained single and celibate for the majority of his life. He almost married Zoya out of pity, after her being diagnosed with AIDS. They were never able to consummate or even proceed with the marriage. She was murdered before they could. Ugly loved her very dearly, and doted on her every whim.
I miss making music with him, but I am really happy that our lives turned out the way they did. I am guessing that he would agree.
Please don’t revoke my queer card.
Apr 4th
I wish I could get more excited about gay marriage being legalized in Iowa and Sweden. Good for them, but what the hell difference does that make? More equality? Maybe? I doubt it. Blacks have been getting married to whites legally for years, and they still get treated like second class citizens. What makes anyone think we are any different?
I do not think that a ban against gay marriage is reasonable (let alone enforceable) in the United States. Yet, I also don’t understand why as a gay man I should be obliged to ask the government, “May I please be married, Motherland?” Am I being cynical? Try living in a country where rule by homophobic mobsters has been the most effective form of government it has ever experienced and not be cynical. I dare you.
I have been married to Dmitri for the better part of my life. We got married when at time and place where it was illegal for two adolescent boys to do the nasty, let alone kiss in public. The concept of us getting married was neither legal nor illegal. It was downright unthinkable by most of society. But, we got married anyway. I did not give a shit what the government or most of society thought of us or our marriage. I still don’t. I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me that some bureaucrat though it was okay for Dmitri to be my #1 fuckbuddy and spiritual companion. If another piece of paper tells me that we aren’t married, it doesn’t matter to me either. Laws are only words on dead wood, and I get to choose whether I follow them or not. Actually, I’m breaking them right now since gay marriage is still not legal in Minnesota. Big fucking deal! My actions and will are more powerful than legislation, and I will die for these principles if I must regardless of the political fashion of the day.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not miss the days back in Irkustk when the mere fact that I was openly gay meant that I could be locked up at anytime. But, I also am lucid enough to realize that it takes more than just government-sponsorship to experience freedom and real change. Stonewall was a violent uprising. MLK’s words were nothing but pretty platitudes without Malcolm X’s threats. Jesus got nailed to a tree before anyone really paid attention to his hippy diatribes. Civil disobedience is a nice way of saying “willful lawbreaking for political gain.” The fight for freedom is never easy or truly won. The moment vigilance falls, an the wrong people get in charge, those who recognize the “legitimacy” of idiotic laws start to follow.
I remember far too well when the new Russian goverment granted equality for gays in May 1993 by abolishing Stalin’s Article 121. But, by 2001 the short-lived and rather tenuous “equality” started reverting back to the bad old days. (Yeltsin, why did you abandon us to the business oligarchs?)
Anyway, that’s my stupid anarchist Jesus-freak opinion. Happy weddings to all of you and congratulations on the win. Just be sure to avoid complacency, or you will lose everything.
