Posts tagged sex change

Ugly was an abuser and a horrible influence on me. Our first intimate encounter was not consensual and it was extremely traumatic. It was a shitty way for a scrawny fourteen-year-old to lose his virginity. He was around my age, but much larger and much more belligerent. He was extremely disturbed at the time.

I tried to report the abuse, but the person I spoke with called me a liar and threatened to make my life a living hell. I felt discouraged and didn’t pursue the matter further. Later in life, Ugly told me that he was abused himself. He confessed to admiring me for having the guts to have tried reporting him, and wished that he had received the punishment he deserved.

We looked after each one another. We were practically inseparable for a time. I really enjoyed recording our drunken songs and long-winded conversations about nonsense. It was quite fun to incorporate these recordings into our real music before we even knew that sampling had a name.

Ugly worked as the best damn manager Upir’s Mark ever had. He grew up to be a pretty cool guy, even though he was an evil dick in youth. He changed dramatically after losing limbs and suffering from disfiguring burns that covered most of his body during a military action in the Ukraine. It was an accident involving “friendly fire” from a grenade. Being so close to death, often forces people to re-examine their lives. He definitely did. He continues to make a huge effort to spend the rest of his life helping people.

The only other boyfriend I’ve ever had, happens to be my husband. Sasha is in gender limbo these days, however and has always identified more as a woman. Ugly and I still keep in touch by phone, even though he hates Sasha with a passion. After our break-up, Ugly has remained single and celibate for the majority of his life. He almost married Zoya out of pity, after her being diagnosed with AIDS. They were never able to consummate or even proceed with the marriage. She was murdered before they could. Ugly loved her very dearly, and doted on her every whim.

I miss making music with him, but I am really happy that our lives turned out the way they did. I am guessing that he would agree.